…Single that is…
Let’s talk about being single. Single is not my chosen status. I very much want to be married to a kick-ass, travel loving, adoring hunk of a man. I was in a long term relationship that had extremely undefined and blurry edges. I am not quite sure when it “officially” ended, but it’s a least been a human gestational term, or well over 40 weeks for those not of the childbearing mind frame. I’ll introduce you to that situation in a minute. Most of my closest friends, all of whom have relocated out of state or country, have what would be considered the “ideal life”, 2.3 kids, a wonderful husband, financially comfortable, homes, compromise, love, happiness…blah blah blah. That’s not my “ideal”. I am ecstatic that these women that mean the world to me are happy and thriving. They are successfully raising gorgeous, well-adjusted families in their own ways, fur babies included.
I’ll introduce you to that situation in a minute.
Most of my closest friends, all of whom have relocated out of state or country, have what would be considered the “American Dream.” A wonderful doting husband, 2.5 children, financial comfort, homes, compromise, love, happiness…blah blah blah. That’s not my “dream”. I am ecstatic that these women that mean the world to me are happy and thriving. They are successfully raising gorgeous, well-adjusted families in their own ways, fur babies included.
However, my “ideal” that I visualize has nothing to do with standard norms. I am not interested in what your grass looks like. I am working productively in my own garden over here. It would be nice to have a gardening assistant, you know, for carting around dirt, lifting the brick pavers, and for the sweaty eye candy.
Here is the deal
I fell in love immediately. Literally punch-drunk within days of meeting this man. It started out as a one night stand or so I thought. (Like I said, blurry edges) Me being all cute and romantic, I took his hand in the taxi ride where he escorted me home and wrote my cell phone number old school style on the back of his hand. I know, so much sexier than typing it into the phone.
He actually called me!
That day! In shock and excitement, I pranced around my office (yes, of course, I was working on a Saturday) elementary school girl giddy. It was an intensely strong connection. We fun together. We laughed together. It was a connection that is beyond descriptive words. We just clicked. Somehow we couldn’t fit all the puzzle pieces together. Stupid fights lead to animosity, dishonesty, and mistrust. Our favorite bonding activity, hanging out with Guinness and Coffee, Irish style, didn’t provide the best substance for conflict. But, overall, and because I always look to the good memories over the bad, I thought it was magical. After the first full twelve months of hearing, “I don’t want to be in a relationship” I took my first stand. Having had enough shenanigans one night, I picked up my belongings and headed down Skillman Avenue to my car to make the 45-minute drive home late at night. Let me state for the record that I don’t like driving, especially when I could be laying in bed, especially all the way from the far edges of Queens to Nassau county. I didn’t need to! He came running after me, probably one of the only times in our relationship (so prince charming), and after prodding him with the alternative,
“Do you want me to go date other men?”
He said no and accepted that we were dating and that I was his girlfriend.Now we could get technical and say that first year didn’t count, but let’s not split hairs because that is far from a situation that tops the list in this epic love story. More on that in the future…
I’m fully immersed in the “online dating, meetup group, hoping there is a cute stranger when my friends invite me to a party, begging my chiropractor to introduce me to someone” scene. The scene has given me an #attitudeofgratitude of not being tied to one male. I’d be missing out on so much entertainment!
I have had a number of hilarious interactions with prospective gentlemen callers over the last few months. I have been on (paid for) Match.com a couple of times, no dice. My six-month eHarmony membership just ended. I’m not renewing because I had one man, one sole prospect, actually get to the point of “Let’s meet up, I’m available anytime this week.” Only to not be available any time that week, nor ask me to actually go out at any specific time after that. This guy was 44 and lived very close to me so it wasn’t like there was a distance issue. I’m on Tinder, Plenty of Fish, and OkCupid. I’ve tried Belendr, Coffee and Bagels, Hinge. Most of this “trying to date” thing was hindering me greatly because of my previous relationship that I had to put a lot of effort into healing and moving on from.
Here is the guy that truly prompted me to get this blog going.
(I will be keeping all identities as confidential as possible) I do not even remember which site this guy was on. He’s cute and I tend to take the initial action, so I send him a “Flirt”, which says “Hi there!”. He responds and we start chatting. He’s a dad, which I’m not totally into. I still plan on being a first, and only wife, and creating a family from the eggs in my very own uterus. My expectations are dream life level and I’m not lowering them. (PERIOD) The conversation was getting into a flow. We went back and forth for a little bit until he randomly says,
“Do you have nice feet.”
“I do have very cute feet” I do! I’m blessed.
See photo for further detail…
Now, I think I was quite pleasant when exiting this conversation. I wished him well. Let him know that he will find love in other places, just not with this badass chick!
What do you think?
I am not sure we had even gotten to names yet. (That will be yet another topic!) I am called “wack.” Has anyone heard that word since 1999? Did my response warrant a “get the F*$k outta here”?
On to the next one. All these interactions and the experiences I have had are leading me closer to my man. The soulmate that I know is heading in my direction looking for me! Remember that each “no” gets you a step closer to your very perfect, meant-to-be “YES!”.
Keep dreaming that dream my loves!